There is one New Year I'll never forget. It started as a typical New Year's Eve with your standard gauntlet of drinking and party games. It even ended that way. There was nothing special about the two days themselves. What was special was a mistake that was made during them.
My phone was left behind on a couch.
To most people that seems like the end of the world. Admittedly in that moment, it felt like it was. My friend lived forty-five minutes from home. It was a huge inconvenience that I was going to have to deal with at a later point but I was already running late for work that morning so there was no time to worry about it.
Work was more or less the same there was just a massive headache thrown on top of what would be a relatively normal day. Something was different though. There was nothing to do when it got slow. There was no phone to pull out and dig through Twitter on. There were no text messages or DM's that needed replying to. No one needed me. It was radio silence. Which at first started as concerning "What am I going to do it's pretty slow right now" and "Oops forgot my phone is not in that pocket anymore". Slowly through the course of the day though it turned from that into a feeling I've been trying to chase ever since. The feeling of not being needed and being truly free.
Could you just throw your phone in the trash and go about your life though? In reality, that's not something anyone can really do. There are social obligations that come along with having a phone. Someone texts you and generally, they expect a reply. Your boss sends you an email or text and you're expected to reply. Everyone has all of the expectations from you just because you have a phone in your pocket all the time. "Did you get my text?" is something I hear frequently that I wish I didn't. If someone is standing in front of you and they need something what's stopping them from just asking?
It's not just people that fight for your attention it's the phone itself. Every app you download wants to send you notifications. They want you to click them. They want you to open the app. They want you to get dragged into whatever feed that's there. They have an extremely specific algorithm that knows what you want to see and what you might like to see. Reddit and YouTube are both very good examples of this. You upvote one thing or watch one video and it knows that you're into that and you might like something else closely related to that. Next thing you know you're dragged into the rabbit hole. Once you get out what have you gained? Most of the time I'm left with a sense of dread knowing that there was time spent on something that doesn't truly align with my goals or values.
I'm not saying take everything you like, throw it away, and stare at a wall all day. That's not the goal. The goal is to find a healthy balance between the two. Maybe start by shutting off notifications for apps that you don't care about. You could turn them all off and just leave a few like text messages and phone calls or turn specific ones off like Twitter or Facebook. If you need more than that you could just delete those apps. It's more of a scorched earth approach but if that's what you need do it. That's what I do. Don't be afraid to say "Oh I didn't see that" It's not a bad thing. Most of the time people will pull it up to show you or tell you about it themselves. I promise you aren't missing out on everything.
Just try it. You never know what could happen. It could be the dumbest thing you've ever done or it could change how you look at your life. Having time to sit and think isn't bad. Align your actions with your values. It can change everything.